i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
