we have pet lesbian snakes
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Randomize
