Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
