I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Randomize