GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
