I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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