so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
