those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
