Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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