you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
