Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Randomize
