my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
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