I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
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