i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
