nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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