Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
porn star boner night. come get it.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
