lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
