I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
