It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Randomize
