$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Less talking, more tequila
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
