i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
God I need to hump something, right now.
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