Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
