Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
