Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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