The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Randomize
