i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I need to wash the frat house off of me
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
