I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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