Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
