And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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