Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
