i think my mom watched the whole time
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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