but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
