Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Floor bacon is actually really good
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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