Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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