..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
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