im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Randomize
