so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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