Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
