it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
