Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
