I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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