wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
someone owes me an orgasm
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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