Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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