Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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