he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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