It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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