Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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