It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize