Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
