don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
