we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
