it hurts more in the daytime
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I didn't notice because vodka
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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