she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
