Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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