Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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