wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
