so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
