I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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