hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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