was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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