Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
