Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize
