apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
