I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
