Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
