I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
