If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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