so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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