Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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